After years on working on myself- and doing everything from coaching, through NLP, meditation and psychotherapy, I have built enough courage to share something that I have never spoken about on video before.
I became mother at a very tender age of 18, and my son became the light and absolute love of my life. For entire 2 years my life revolved around nursing, changing nappies, playing with my son, and watching him grow into gorgeous toddler.
But sadly, my son was taken away from me at the age of 4. He was kidnapped by his own father- as a way of punishing me; since I have applied for legal separation. I have been away from my son for an entire 18 months, and I am not going to lie: they have been some of the hardest moments of my life. I could not sleep, I could not eat, I literally could not function properly- all I could feel; day after day; is this horrible pain occupying my heart.
But the hardest part of this story was that there was no hope for better future: all I could hear the entire time is that I will never see my son again. Thankfully, due to good lawyer and proper political system, my son has been brought back to our family. The start of rebuilding our bond have been challenging, but slowly over time we have re-created our bond and mother-to-son connection. Now Samir is almost 16, chasing girls and preparing himself to go to college.But my pain and wounding from this separation did not end there. Somewhat, my brain and my nervous system has made a decision that being mother is not safe, and resulted in years and years where I have been terrified of becoming pregnant again.
Over the years, I had to dive deeply into studies of yoga, meditation, and psychology, to help me resolve this traumatizing experience and rebuilt trust into being mother, and creating family with my belowed husband.
Find out more about my story:
I am a huge believer, that we need to start having opened conversations around safety, trust and motherhood. If you want to join this conversation, please share your thoughts and insights with the hashtag #FearlessFreedom in the comment section beneath this blog post.